Today's Challenge from Jillian Michaels (Facebook)
CHALLENGE: This week, try staying firmly rooted in the present, not regrets from the past or worries about the future. Your power exists in the now. So many go through life on autopilot without ever stopping to question things or cultivate a life they're passionate about. So, set your alarm to go off every hour throughout your day. When it does take inventory of what you're doing & how it makes you FEEL. If you love something do more of it. If you don't make a course correction. Your emotions will help guide you to your happiest healthiest life.
I am honestly afraid of what I'll find today if I do this. Okay, maybe not afraid. I know what I'll find. I'm not happy now. Even when Colin is not being such a complete jerk, I'm still not happy. I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop.
I guess it's time for me to grow up. Face reality. I'm not happy here. I really never was. I tried. I tried everything I could. I tried to be understanding of what he was going through. I tried. But it wasn't enough.
I've taken a few steps in the right direction. I have blocked him from my blogs/facebook, etc. I have also deleted my email information from his computer.
I used to believe I could help Colin. I used to believe he was a good man, somewhere in there. I used to believe he was just this way because he never learned any better, but if I gave him some time, he'd come around and stop this...
I was so wrong. I've never been that wrong before in my life.
At least I'm starting to get it. I am looking online at what it'll cost me for a trailer. One way to Calgary. I am also looking at just making a trip there on the long weekend. Drop off the bikes and come back. Then all I have to do is pick up and go when I'm ready. Might be more cost efficient to just go one way. Never look back. Screw how badly it'll mess with his mind. The a$$ doesn't deserve to have me around anymore anyway.