Monday, May 16, 2011

Monday May 16

I am so frustrated right now.  I let my room mate take the wind out of my sails yesterday with his crap.  Now I'm letting him get to me again this morning.

I sent him a text.  Just to say good morning.  He can't even be bothered to reply.  I know sometimes he gets busy.  But lately it's been a game for him.  He can't be bothered to respond. 

I am so on the verge of screwing him over this week.  Sad part is, it's not in my nature.  I think I'll just return the favor.  Can't be bothered to talk to him either.  I have to run to Noonan ND to pick up a couple of packages today.  Instead of seeing if he wants to come with, I'll go myself.  Tell him they didn't show up.  One of the packages is for him.  Let him sweat it out a few days worrying.  Or rather don't tell him anything.  Just avoid him.  Then eventually bring them out and leave them for him to find. 

I don't get why I let him get to me like this.  I just can't take it anymore.  All of this is going to change who I am, and not for the better.  It's going to turn me into a bitter angry person.  I just don't want to be that person.  I'm better than that.  I have to keep reminding myself that every day.

Now I've got bigger fish to fry.  I've gotta get motivated to get out there and run today.  I will be going in about 90minutes.  I need to put this crap behind me and just get out there.

But I don't remember how to do that.  Guess I could convince myself he just didn't get the messages.  Yes, I sent him one as soon as I left for work this morning too.  I left early and he was pretending to be asleep.

I don't deserve this crap.  So the a$$ figures the world should revolve around him.  That's his problem.  Why do I let it get to me so much? 

Wrong way to go with this.  That's only making me feel worse. 

I will feel so much better after a good run today.  I'll do my speed training.  run6min, walk3min and repeat however many times it is this week.  I think it's 7 times this week.  Then get a nice salad from Co-op.  Yummy.  Right after work I have a road trip to go on.  Just a short one - south of the border to get those packages.  Guess I should check the tracking again.  Make sure they are going to be there.  But the eta for both is today.  They both left Minot this morning on the truck. 

I really need to relax.  Find my inner happy.  Bring it back to the surface again. 

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