Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Okay, its a new day and the room mate is on a rampage again...

I really don't get it.  Actually, there is a few things I don't get. 

I don't get why my room mate is like this.  He slept in his chair last night.  A bad sign.  Wouldn't even say good morning to me.  I guess that means we are on a rampage again.  He won't talk to me.  Or if he does, he'll try to make it my fault that he's like this.  So not interested in his crap anymore. 

The other thing I don't get, is why do I put up with it.  I really don't get that.  What is wrong with me to even entertain the idea that I deserve to be treated like this? 

And why the heck do I keep letting him upset me?  It's his issue after all.  Why does it keep landing on my shoulders?

There's no reason really.  I could just ignore what is going on around me.  I could just get on with my life right? 

I guess I'm starting to do that.  I am running again.  I don't care what he thinks about it.  In fact, I'm not letting him bring this down for me.  I have a race on Saturday, and I don't want him there.  Maybe this tantrum is perfect in it's timing.  He won't be there if he's not talking to me.  It's a good thing I think. 

I don't need his companionship to go out and enjoy wings tonight.  I can go alone if I wanted.  The thing is, I don't really want to go alone.  But realistically, I don't want to go with someone who will ignore me the entire time anyway. 

I need to figure this out.  I need to decide what I want out of life around here and go for it.  And no, being treated like an emotional punching bag for this person is not it. 

I think that's my answer.  I need  to focus on  what I want to do and just do it. Forget taking this idiots crap. Waiting for him to come around.  I need to do what I need.  And if that takes me out of his life completely, that might not be such a bad thing. 

Besides.  This path will force him to decide.  The problem is, I know how that will go. He'll blame me.  It'll all be my fault.  That his kids won't talk to him.  That everyone hates him. 

HELLO IDIOT!!!  Look at your actions and think again!

I guess I just need to accept the fact I lost someone I thought was a good friend.  But I guess it wasn't such a good friendship after all. 

I feel so lost right now.  I trusted the wrong people.  Now what do I do? 

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