Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Update on Yesterday, and some upsetting stuff...

Okay, good stuff first. I am counting yesterday as a success.

I ran 20min - burned over 160calories.
Then I rode my pedal bike for 30min last night.
I ate clean.
I cleaned the kitchen. Okay, the suitcases are still in the middle of the kitchen, but I did clean.
I cooked and ate a good supper at home last night.

Overall, I count yesterday as a success. Not a knock out of the park, but a success.

Colin called last night. Wanted to BBQ my bass. I wish he had told me. I wouldn't have eaten my supper. But no biggie. I went over. I could eat a little bass as well. See what it tastes like.

I got there, and found it. He took pics when we were fishing the other day. Well, he printed one and had it framed. Now I'm on his wall. Like some friggin trophy.

Let me tell you, I'm NOT HAPPY about this. Talk about making me feel like a cheap piece of trash.

Okay, if I'm over reacting, please let me know. It just has me so upset.

I left. I texted and asked him to please get rid of that picture. He said no. That's the last I have said to him. I don't know if I will every say anything to him again. He asked my what the problem is. He has pictures of friends who are important to him.


I feel so violate. So cheap. So used.

Okay, if I am over reacting, then why am I having such a severe reaction to this?

I could let this drive me nuts. Or I could do my best to forget about it for a while.

I am so close to breaking into his house and destroying that picture. As well as erasing all the pics on his computer. But it won't do me any good if I can't get ahold of his camera and erase it.

Okay, I have to stop now. It's taking too big a toll on my. I need to find another way to deal with this whole thing.

Suggestions? Help!!!

Text's are flying back and forth.

From Colin - "I guess you have a problem with me having a picture of you"

Me- "I have problems with pictures of me with anyone. Especially when they are posted as a trophy"

Colin - "If u think that ur just a trophy as u put it, think again"

Maybe I am taking this all wrong. But why would it upset me so much?

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Time to SNAP OUT OF IT!!!

Wow.  What a crazy weekend. 

I finally did it.  I packed my bags and left the abusive room mate I've been with for almost a year.  Just packed up and left while he was out of town. 

We have other issues going on in that friendship now.  I'll deal with that later though.  Right now, I have something more important to deal with - ME!!!

Okay, even I know it's not always that easy. But I also know when it's time for some tough love, and starting to kick my own butt.


Yes, this weekend was hard. It's going to still hurt on and off for a while. Deal with it. Cry if you gotta. BUT STOP WALLOWING.

You can't stop all the hurting. It'll heal in it's own time. But you can do something. You can focus on you for a while

Get out there. Do what you need to do.

Okay, so today you feel too sluggish. Still down.

Make ya a deal. The water is on in the new place today - finally.
Go HOME and clean. Put on the hrm and clean. Clean until you are exhausted. Clean until you can see an end in sight. JUST CLEAN!

Okay, it's not quite the Nike logo Just Do It! But why not? It's physical. I'll burn calories. And I'll be accomplishing something for me. Getting my place together. Starting to set up a place I can settle into. A place to feel comfortable. Secure. A place where I can become ME again.

I don't think that's such a bad thing...