Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Some people in your heart can not be in your life 

I really needed to see this today.  Now I need to hold it close to my heart and thoughts, and live by it.  

I almost met up with Terry last night.  I don't think meeting up with him is the bad thing.  But he wanted to go to his place and watch movies.  I am so glad I am still too freaked out by what happened to go out to the farm again.  

We did text for a while though.  

I don't know why I'm drawn to him again.  No idea.  When I saw him last week, I realized there is nothing physically drawing me to him.  

I think it's the lost puppy thing he's got going on.  My desire/want/need to help others.  

And seeing him so vulnerable on Sunday.  I never thought I'd see it again.

But I need to remember what happened last time.  He not only ran scared, he hurt me badly.  Humiliated me.  Why would I open myself up to that again?  I deserve so much better.  I have so much better.  What I have now is so NOT worth risking for this looser.  Yes, he's a looser.  I know it. 

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