Last night I wasn't home to meet Lee after work. I went fishing instead. Left him a note, and after I dropped my daughter off at work, I was gone. I came back around 8pm. I didn't catch anything worth bringing home. Oh well. Next time.
He couldn't seem to figure out why I refused to come into the living room and sit and watch tv, but he never asked about it.
He seemed upset. Told me it was a headache and he was tired, so I told him to just go to bed. I wouldn't be joining him for a long while yet. Nothing was said about it.
Not long after I picked my daughter up from work, I went to bed too.
I can't keep doing this. It's making him physically sick. I'm frustrated too. I really need to find a way out. Fast.
I think I might have found a place to store all my stuff from the garage. Colin has offered a trailer for me to store it all in. I think I'll take him up on it. At least for a while. Maybe if I start to clear my stuff out of here, Lee will get the message that I am not stuck here. That I'm choosing to be here. And I can just as easily choose to not be here too.
I wish I could find the words to talk to him about this. I just can't seem to do that.
On to brighter stuff. Last night I made a chocolate syrup for my milk. I tasted it, and it was okay, but I think I'm going to add more cocoa to it. The plan is to make some that I can add to my milk after my running. I miss chocolate milk, but with the no dairy/no sugar restrictions, it's been out for a while now. So I made some myself. Unsweetened cocoa, and Brown Rice Syrup. I used a little hot water to help dissolve everything. It was okay, but I'm thinking more cocoa and now that it's cooled down...
So the plan for today is:
- Keep looking for work
- Go running earlier this time - it'll be cooler out
- eat 6x today again and record every bite
- lots of water (of course)
I have a Julian Michaels Yoga DVD. I think I'll try to give that a go too. I'm not sure why, but I tend to just not do videos anymore.
So I guess I've got a busy day ahead of me. Might as well start it now.