Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Last night I wasn't home to meet Lee after work. I went fishing instead.  Left him a note, and after I dropped my daughter off at work, I was gone.  I came back around 8pm.  I didn't catch anything worth bringing home.  Oh well.  Next time.

He couldn't seem to figure out why I refused to come into the living room and sit and watch tv, but he never asked about it.  

He seemed upset.  Told me it was a headache and he was tired, so I told him to just go to bed.  I wouldn't be joining him for a long while yet.  Nothing was said about it. 

Not long after I picked my daughter up from work, I went to bed too. 

I can't keep doing this.  It's making him physically sick.  I'm frustrated too.  I really need to find a way out.  Fast. 

I think I might have found a place to store all my stuff from the garage.  Colin has offered a trailer for me to store it all in.  I think I'll take him up on it.  At least for a while.  Maybe if I start to clear my stuff out of here, Lee will get the message that I am not stuck here.  That I'm choosing to be here.  And I can just as easily choose to not be here too.

I wish I could find the words to talk to him about this.  I just can't seem to do that.

On to brighter stuff.  Last night I made a chocolate syrup for my milk.  I tasted it, and it was okay, but I think I'm going to add more cocoa to it.  The plan is to make some that I can add to my milk after my running.  I miss chocolate milk, but with the no dairy/no sugar restrictions, it's been out for a while now.  So I made some myself.  Unsweetened cocoa, and Brown Rice Syrup.  I used a little hot water to help dissolve everything.  It was okay, but I'm thinking more cocoa and now that it's cooled down...

So the plan for today is:
- Keep looking for work
- Go running earlier this time - it'll be cooler out
- eat 6x today again and record every bite
- lots of water (of course)

I have a Julian Michaels Yoga DVD.  I think I'll try to give that a go too.  I'm not sure why, but I tend to just not do videos anymore. 

Oh, I almost forgot.  My set of 3 routine too.  I want to get through it all at least once. 

So I guess I've got a busy day ahead of me.  Might as well start it now. 

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