Monday, June 6, 2011

Being Knocked off my Rails again....

My room mate has started again.  Not sure if I said so in one of my past blogs - probably did.  He was being nice.  It had me worried for how long he'd be nice, and when this would come back.  Well, I'm just about done wondering.  He's back!!!

He's so full of hate.  It is overwhelming him.  It's overwhelming me.  It's taking away my desire to do ANYTHING!

It's too much for me to carry. 

He makes me feel like it's my fault he's like this.  Like I did something wrong.  What did I do?  I was alive.  I am breathing.  That alone is enough to set him off.

Sometimes I think he expects me to be the happy outgoing person I was when we met.  Expects me to make him happy.  To bring him along to everything I want to do. 

Okay, I will admit I tried once.  I tried to introduce him to something I loved.  Dancing.

I get it.  A person has to learn to dance.  I was trying to teach him.  Instead of taking the time to learn, he would get mad at me.  If he didn't get it, I wasn't teaching it right.  I finally quit.

I also took him to a dance competition in April.  Well, he made that absolute HELL for me.  Never again!!!

I've finally given up. 

In his world, he is the center of the Universe.

<Insert Colin's picture in the middle>

If EVERYTHING doesn't go his way, he throws a fit.  And it can last for days.  Send him a text message to let him know your thinking of him?  He gets mad - you're bugging him.  Don't?  He gets pissy because you are ignoring him. 

Seriously.  That's him.  In a nutshell.  I can't take it anymore. 

Living in his house is costing me my health, and my goals and desires.  I need to go.  I just don't know where to go.  There are not a lot of places to live around here.  And the few places there are are way too expensive. 

I have had a few friends offer me places to stay, but there always seems to be strings attached.  I'm not interested in that either.  I just don't know what to do.  I'm on the verge of just packing up and moving back to Calgary.  Forget my job.  Forget it all.  Just go.

It might be what I need to do at this point.  To preserve my own mental health and sanity...

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