Sunday, July 3, 2011

I am feeling completely stupid and used right now.  I guess the writing was on the wall the entire time.  I just didn't want to see it. 

I just wish I could blame it 100% on someone else.  I prefer to have someone other than myself to blame.  But I'd have to admit it is at least 50% my fault.  I just didn't want to open my eyes and see...

And now I'm paying the price. 

I need to work on repairing and keeping my self confidance.  Believing I am worth it.  I am worth more than this.  Believing I'm not a complete idiot, or trash. 

Sad part is, it's going to actually be hard to do that.  I guess my best bet to do that right now is to grab to the little bit of me that feels I was misled.  I may have walked down the rose garden path, but it had to be put there for me to walk that way.   I was honest from the beginning.  I can't necessarily say that for everyone involved. 

I guess it all comes down to being too trusting again.  I trusted that path, and willingly went there. 

What a fool

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