Stress is building around here tonight...

My room mate Colin is not talking to me again.  He get's like this.  He has anger issues.  Severe anger issues.  This has been going on since I met him. 

He went too far last time.  We were driving back from Calgary.  We were in Calgary for a dance competition weekend.  Just watched this time.  It was a stressful weekend for both of us.  Well, I kind of snapped at him at breakfast on Sunday, and he lost it.  He kept trying to tell me that no one at this competition knew how to dance.  I was trying to tell him just because he couldn't find the beat they were dancing to, it doesn't mean they were doing it wrong.  Well, he took this to mean I was telling him off or something and he was off. 

It wasn't long and we were on the road, driving back to Estevan.  I was crying.  It is harder than I thought to leave my kids again and come back here to work.  He refused to talk to me.  Not even a single word.  I told him I couldn't do this.  We could fight later.  Right now I needed a friend.  My heart was breaking. 

Didn't get through to him at all.  I was tempted to just turn my van around and go back to Calgary and tell him to f*#k off.  Get home however he wanted to, but not with me. 

Instead, I decided to just keep driving.  Besides, I have stuff here in Estevan I'd have had to come and get.  I decided then and there that that was it.  There was nothing he could do to fix this. 

I even sent him an email.  Telling him how much that hurt me, and that it was done. 

Well, a week later he came around.  Started talking to me again.  I didn't want to deal with his issues and crap, so I let it go.  But things haven't been the same between us.  They never will be.  It's now a month later, and he's upset.  Things are different.  He was expecting me to just get over it.  Well, forget it.  Not this time buddy.

Last weekend, he was starting in on his issues again.  Instead of just sitting here and waiting for him, I went to Regina to spend the weekend with a friend.  When I got back here, he was so much better.  For a moment or two, I saw my friend.  The one who was there for me.  The person I was missing. 

Then he was gone again. 

I guess I shouldn't have been surprised.  This is standard around here.  He's got a really close relationship with the neighbours wife.  Yes, you read it right.  He may not be sleeping with her, but she definitely wants that.  And the way he talks to her, I'm surprised it hasn't happened.  I told hiim I'm not getting in the middle of this kind of thing.  It's my reputation that is being screwed with.  I am not willing to do that. Not for people with such low moral values. 

He is still trying to get me to be friends with this "lady" and I use that word loosely in this instance.  Carol is not much above a hooker if you ask me.  Yes, I know it's judgemental.  But what would you call someone who spends all her time complaining about her husband, while she's chasing around the single guys in town.  Give me a break.  So NOT someone I want to be associated with.

Anyhow, I am running a 10K on Saturday.  I am looking forward to it.  Yesterday Colin was telling me he was coming with me for my race.  Honestly, I don't want him there.  Carol - the neighbours wife - has a commitment she is trying to get him to help her with.  I told him to go.  I will not get in the middle of this.  I will not make him choose.  Not my style.  He wants that crap in his life, he can have it.  But as of yesterday, he was coming with me. 

Well, I guess that's one good thing about his mood swings.  He wont be coming with me on Saturday!  Here's hoping.

My First Blog Here

Welcome to my blog.  This is my first posting on this site.  Not sure how it'll go, and if I'll keep it going long term or not, but figured I'd give it a try. 

I've been blogging on Sparkpeople.com for a couple of years now.  That is one awesome sight by the way.  If you want to loose weight, or make any other major change in your life, but don't know how, be sure to check it out.  Best part - it's all free!

www.sparkpeople.com

But I figured I'd start blogging outside of sparkpeople as well.  Not really sure why.  Just giving it a try.  See if I like it or not.

Anyhow, where to start.  I am 38 years old.  Right now I am training to run my first marathon.  I've run a half in the past, but this is my first ever full one.  As part of my training, this weekend I'm running a 10K in a small town near where I live.  I'm also thinking of running another half in August or September.  Guess it depends on where I want to go to run it. 

Okay, so today is Tuesday May 10.  I'm under the weather - I've got a cold.  It's sitting in my throat and lungs.  Not pleasant.  Anyhow, it's what has kept me from running for the past three days - including today.  That's all going to change soon though.  My body is resting.  Recouperating.  All to be ready to run on Saturday. 


I know I have a story to tell.  I just don't really know how to tell it yet.  So hopefully somewhere along this journey I'll figure it out.  You're welcome to come along for the ride.  I always believe the more the merrier.  Feel free to leave feedback as well.  It will help me grow and find a way to tell the story I have. 

Guess I'll figure out what I'm going to say next, and be back to say it soon.  Until then, have a great day, and make sure to do the most with the time you have.  You never know how soon it'll run out.